My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
