Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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