also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
