u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
