yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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