Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
