Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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