He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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