in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
