then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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