Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
