my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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