I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
