I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
