Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
