dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why are your pants in the freezer?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
