I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
