i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
