took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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