No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize