I'm jealous of your bromance
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
