bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm jealous of your bromance
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
