if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
