I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
