i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
