Im at strip club and am horny
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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