i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
