i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
