well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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