i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
