HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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