All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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