I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
