I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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