I want to walk on stilts...naked
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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