I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
