Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
