Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
