Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
