so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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