i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
