So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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