Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How do I say βI have great titsβ without it sounding awful
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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