I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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