ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
