I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
