So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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