fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
