why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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