Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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